Parenting, Random Thoughts

Ask A Parent What does Bullying Mean?

We have reached a point where luxuries are closely challenged with fears. One way we make our lives easier by adapting to changes but we do fear the consequences. Bullying is one of those aspects which has surfaced a lot in recent years. Bullying doesn’t only relate to children or peer pressure. It has a subtle impact on the psyche. If you face bullying as a constant jerk you might end me cursing yourself more for the reason. Also, there is more to bullying or to the one who bullies. Like we say sometimes, Once a bully is always a bully. But why does bullying exist and why do we ignore such a crucial issue in shaping our personalities or don’t want to take this as a serious threat to our own children. even if they are on receiving end.

On the contrary, talking about bullying if you hadn’t faced it anytime is like talking about food you had never tasted. I, as an individual and as a mother have multiple stories where I’ve been bullied by people. For me, it was about the complexion and when you were born dusky or as a mom of an introverted child. Let me clarify that I’ve never taken those comments seriously in my life. It was just like a stone which was thrown at me but I escaped. And the real reason for such behaviour is nothing but the parenting support who had never questioned my own identity, my physical appearance or whatsoever. I was quite confident as a child and all thanks to right parenting which was built on trust, confidence and devoid of gender differences. I see the difference in all my life and I’m thankful for the things which had happened in my life making me stronger each day!

It was a couple of years back when someone bullied my elder child. Someone has slapped her on the school bus. For no reason. Those guys were playing truth and dare and the dare was to slap that girl who was sitting on the window seat. For a moment, she couldn’t decipher what has happened. Imagine a child who is well mannered, never use abusive language, is diligent,well-disciplined and never bullied anyone in her growing up years. It was a mental shock for her. The moment I got to know my blood boiled. I couldn’t manage my emotions as to why and how someone can do this to my child. Had tried calling school but it was late and it was closed for the day. Then I wrote many emails addressing to principal and director to look into the matter. Things heated up and after a lot of discussions and meetings, the bully and his parents apologised. In fact, the parent asked to slap him to have peace. Of course not. I’m was not fighting for the retaliation and I knew there is something wrong with the child which made him do so. The influence of other children and not using his own discretion between right and wrong. Something was wrong and that needs to be fixed. It was not about my child either as it could be anyone else tomorrow?

Ask a Mom, how does it feel when your child is being bullied. Your teaching of how being good and not abusive takes a toll on such incidences. And it is never about retaliation to the core. Mostly bullying comes out of insecurity which builds up with time and close relationships. So, bullying is not limited to childhood but adults do bully. In their personal life and professional life. Insecurity could be of anything. Maybe they lack the compassionate relationships in their life or they are always on receiving end out of their own control. When we talk about the early years of parenting where you shape a human being at an emotional level than being a champion, it’s imperative we do look at things that aren’t being taught. Like, how we speak and what we speak. Do we lack love in our relationships or too demanding at times? Do we expect too much from them without knowing whats their in mind and heart? And do we create some pressure on physical appearance or academic one? There is no dearth of comparisons and imperfections. We all have one.

When we say everything begins from home. It does and how it shapes your own personality with the period of time. The love and compassion in everyone life are damn important and we should learn how we can tweak our personalities as a giver and receiver. Unconditional love is precious and there is no match to it. You cant compensate for it with expensive gifts or whatsoever. On the other hand, unconditional love doesn’t mean you’re devoid of responsibilities and disciple in your life. That’s another aspect to look at which cant be ignored at any time.

Talking to children about bully or bullying is important. ultimately they have to survive in this wicked world and cant live in isolation. What makes them strong is our belief and not forcing them to be cruel to beat the cruel. They should know things happen in life and learning is important. One has to move on and not letting anyone taking over themselves for any reason. They really need to stand high with the life discipline and value they gain each day without compromising on petty issues.

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