Mommying ain’t easy! I realised this fact much later in my life when I stepped into motherhood. It wasn’t easy, handling two kids all alone might give you jitters, at least initial years. Now they are grown-ups, almost close to 11 and 8 years, but my duties and responsibilities are not going to recede. Its as much as it was before. I am as busy as I was before and realised you can surely get over with diapering, but you can never get over with mommying around. Its 24/7/365 till as many years as you can!
It’s really a challenge to get some FREE or ME time for yourself during early years of parenting. Not even that but the inevitable emotional and physical change makes it worse with the time. Sometimes you feel you are just getting exhausted every passing day and desperately wait for those years when they would pass diaper and feeding age. Your physical health and mental health start talking toll and you are stuck. Even the thought itself gives you a big relief or perhaps you would get some more time to relax or to hop onto bucket list which you have been missing for years. Can a mum afford to be happy without any guilt trap?
That’s a common thought, things will work out when kids will grow-up? Really? But what happens when they really grow up? Do you really get a lot of time to hang around? To do what all you wanted to do? Do you really think that can make you happy and you really need to wait for it?
Well, as a mum I don’t think so. You really need to find happiness at every moment and at every stage. When I turned mother, I made sure that we both share all the chores in the house. Even for the baby bath, massaging, changing clothes, diapering and honestly, we both sailed through it. It never happened that he never helped me, or I was overburdened with Mommy duties. I can proudly say that what I know, is what he knows about our children. I had to quit from my promising career and never joined back, considering the nuclear family set up and demanding work. The mother guilt can never leave you, either you work or quit after you turn to parent.
A mum’s happiness is not all about children or making others happy but it must start with making yourself happy. At times, you might want to take a movie break amidst the chaos, holding yourself back, considering other factors to go or not, but these breaks are equally important to make you feel better. Its important to let go of things and not trying to get into perfection mode all the time. Perfection is a myth and we mums often try to change it to reality. Being a woman or a mum doesn’t mean the number of sacrifices you make for others but it also says the choice you make for yourself without any guilt. Find your happiness and live it every moment.
I’m a mum and I don’t depend on others to make me happy!
This post is a part of the #MomsSpeakUp Blog Train hosted by Prisha and Nayantara Hegde. I would like to thank Noor Anand for introducing me. Read her take on the Prompt https://nooranandchawla.com/2019/03/06/how-to-be-a-successful-working-mother/.
Also, I would like to Introduce Surbhi Prappana. I’m sure you will enjoy reading her take on the prompt. Visit her link here- https://surbhiprapanna.com/2019/03/06/5-reasons-why-am-i-happy-being-a-work-from-home-mom/.
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