Parenting

I Love Being A Mother But Often I Miss My Freedom

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It was just like a normal forward which says, “You know you are a Mom when going to grocery shopping feels like a vacation”. I am sure most of the mums around can vouch on that freedom of a few minutes. Not to mention, I am one of those. Trying to get every minute back, to feel, to refresh, to rejuvenate and a little freedom to step out of the house like before!

There was a time when I was one of those nomads who never liked sitting at home.  For some reason or the another, I would be out for some random classes, coaching, shopping, party, playing along with school/college. So, hardly it happened when I missed my own freedom and definitely how I made memories out of those. Aah! I wish I could go to time- machine and go back to the same era:)

Certainly, there wasn’t a bigger change in routine even post-marriage. Till we planned a new addition to our clan. Pregnancy was smooth and I managed to venture out like before. I wasn’t expecting much different. Turning to be a MOM is not an alien thing. Right? I had the same perception. Nothing will change….. just a baby……will manage!

And it was the delivery day when I felt the first heat. I had hardly slept for 3 hours together in two days. I thought why did anyone warn me before? I could have slept more without realising that the word SLEEP is going to be extinct in the next few years. Didn’t know if it is a normal and random thought that it must be only for initial days. Maybe as they grow I would get sufficient time and can be back to my normal busiest life with the same zeal of freedom. My previous life ( Before baby) I was one of the busiest or loved to be known as a hardcore corporate employee. I loved my work, deadlines, busy schedules and had mastered well in management. But Baby management is entirely different. There is no school which teaches you mothering your child to fetch you a degree of PERFECT MOTHER. The word perfect doesn’t exist as we experiment with our own skills and instincts which is the so-called perfect blend of mothering a child. There were ups and downs, loads of happiness with a pinch of mood swings but one thing which was difficult to replace- FREEDOM.

The moment I became a mother, I realised about freedom. How it feels when you take your own time to do things, when you spend your own time to get ready, your hair, makeup, stilettos. Of course, I am not talking about freedom to express or freedom to live or the freedom to make choices about yourself. Here, I am talking about freedom to spend more which could be even 5 minutes in the washroom, freedom to eat hot served food, freedom to watch your favourite sport or movie( in one shot), freedom to sleep as much and freedom to get up late or even you just want to sip a tea for a moment.

Motherhood is complete bliss. Holding them in your hand and hugging them is the most beautiful thing in the world. Their innocence, smell, little cute hands, their smile all these can make anyone crazy. A motherly feeling is different and you just can’t compare it with anything in the entire world. But I can’t deny the fact that I miss my freedom. All these years when they were too young I had hardly spent more than 10 minutes in the washroom. Whatever be the urgency, I learnt to do the quick bath. I learnt how you can cook with one hand, and I learnt how you can never have that cup of tea which you want to have only with your peace of mind. All these became the alien words. Not only that, online shopping replaced the love of window shopping. Cricket matches and blockbuster movie were never on the list. Imagine those 3 hours? Is it really possible? Naa…

I am a shopaholic person and even if you leave me for the entire day in the shopping centre I would be the happiest person. I love venturing out new places, gorging on a sumptuous meal, buying all the accessories and what all? A women’s bucket list can never go off. You can buy as much as you can without giving a second thought to anything. But I missed all these. Most of the time I wished if I could get one fairy who could babysit for a few hours and I enjoy my freedom. At least for the sip of tea!

But then, this is a phase. Quite inevitable with nuclear families and mums. Getting a support system is not easy. The least is you can ask your spouse to sit and you manage alone. Like I did in all these years. Even for a few hours but I tried to live those moments in between. Sometimes, I take a gig when I see back how I used to be the first customer to buy in shops and malls. Limited time and for the one who wants to smell the freedom again can actually imagine the plight of mums who never compromises on motherhood duties but they do miss their freedom.  

At present, I am getting on track as they are growing up and can manage their own task to some extent. Even though I am growing in age but I am back with that nostalgia and the little fire of freedom which was dormant in that phase. Spending my own time in Salon and shopping. By the way, I realised watching a movie alone in a theatre is a different fun. If you haven’t tried yet then you would surely enjoy this freedom. 

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