Being A Woman, Random Thoughts

The Failure Of A Feminist!

The general conception around the “feminist” is overrated. Isn’t it? You also think so? And look at the women around the world who are going crazy to tag them under this word. Can a feminist fail?

The so-called Feminazis—huh! No doubt with so many discussions around the word has reached a new height. If you feel proud to call yourself as Feminist you should also accept the other side -The failure of a feminist!

I call myself a Feminist, earlier this category was limited to bold and independent. The new word is more compelling and authoritative including all the powerful words from a lexicon. It might sound like a new degree without entering into the orientation program.

But still, I was and I am a feminist.

Now the second question,” How can I claim this?

To be very honest till many years I never realized that I was being raised as a feminist. We were three sisters and how we never had any discrimination of any sort in those growing years. We had all the freedom of choices with no restrictions and there was no question on our choices. Even in those times, I did raise my voice for unpleasant decisions and things around us but I never bogged down. I was the only decision maker for my personal choices and all respected that. That’s why I call myself a feminist!

But you might face some failures as a part of life and this is how I failed as a feminist in the recent time.

1. I chose Indian wear: Feminists don’t want anyone to question their choice of clothes. I never questioned too! After all, I have no right to question others what they wear and their personal choice. But what about those people questioning me why I love Indian wear? How does it matter to anyone? Does it mean that saree or Salwar kameez lover can never be a feminist? Or to be called as a feminist you need to be only in particular set of attire? Over and over again I failed to justify my choice to wear them and the comfort I feel!

2. I am a SAHM– When I decided to leave my career for my kids I turned out to financially dependent on my husband. That doesn’t mean that I am wasting my worth of being an educated woman. This is also a choice you make for yourself and I am not answerable to anyone why I am not joining back. I mean, if you are not financially dependent don’t dare to call yourself feminist? Then how about those class-1 officers who were made to suicide just because of dowry? I am sorry, you need to get your facts right. You need to be empowered in all ways and should be able to take a stand for yourself when you are questioned. There is no dearth of powerful women who are not well educated but remarkable throughout their life.

3. I am a teetotaller: I have a bad habit to sleep on time. A peace lover and never liked the night parties. You can also add a category of a non-smoker and a teetotaler. I am not the one who would love to post my neat glass on social media. You can call me orthodox or from the old generation but this is my choice and this needs to be respected too. Feminism gives you the freedom to make choices and respects others and not to question!

4. When I was insulted for my looks: I am born as a dusky but never ever my family advised me to get one tone better. On the contrary, I can never forget those moments when people questioned my skin tone and being skinny. Again and again, I failed as a feminist when I didn’t raise my voice for the sake of sanity in relationships. But feminism is not seasonal and I made my survival from those set of people. Because I can’t let people take me for granted for any personal reasons!

Feminism is not about only women but it’s about a positive social impact in all levels. Its all about how you respect your own choices and the freedom to explore yourself. It nowhere claims to disrespect others for their own personal beliefs.

This is why you must take stand for your set of beliefs despite challenges and even if you are alone in the crowd. Being truthful doesn’t always mean a flock of people supporting you. At times, you might find you alone and fighting for your own rights.It’s your life, choose your options wisely! And sometimes it’s good to fail as a feminist which can later give you new directions to navigate yourself

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