A few days back I took my 9-year-old to one drawing competition. A person( partially known), who was standing next to us, asked her, “Are you participating in drawing competition? She replied in a very low and shy mode “Yes”. Then he wished her, “All the best” and here she goes… smiling and standing close to me. Instead of saying,”thank you note, she was looking for an escape.
She is like this, I know……limited words, being a little shy, Introvert and not comfortable with all!
Asking her to talk on the phone is another challenge. We really need to coax her to speak few words at least to their grandparents or any other on the phone line. She is always reluctant and apparently, we face results for her reserve nature. The wrong perception of the people that she is highly unsocial or confused. She doesn’t even know about the basic things and manners. What kind of child is she? Often this crown shifts to me as well; I am a mother you know!!
Being an introvert doesn’t run on DNA. Opposite to that, I am an extreme extrovert person. I can talk to anyone and adjust to a new environment easily. It’s not a difficult task to me. And If I look up to my elder one then she is just opposite to me. A Silent, solitude lover, bibliophile, artist but as a mother I never tried to change her identity. Though initially, I tried to tweak her a little as per the surroundings. Later, I dropped it!
I realized I was wrong!
During my lifetime I came across many types of people. A mix of Fun-loving, serious, extremely extrovert, loud, silent, submissive, assertive and the Introverts. I never felt secluded while interacting with all these different set of people. Certainly, they all are contrasting and this is the way they are! You call them as their nature, individuality, outlook or personality. But do they really need a change in their natural behavior until it’s not harming others physically or emotionally?
Well, I never thought of and never tried to change. After all, I am staying with an introvert child and I know you need a different perspective and acceptance on these “less social people” and ironically, which is not the actual word.
Being an introvert is not a disease or a disorder which needs a medication or a regular nudge to become extrovert. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s in their nature. Can someone change a nature of sunflower or a lotus? No, they cannot and even if they want to hybrid these natural things it might go haywire.
Similarly, these things are very natural with the introvert child. They like solitude, little less chirpy, books are their best friends and the expressions come out with limited words, art, doodle or through writing.
No, they are not much expressive in audible form. Often, they might enjoy listening to you. There could be another stance when you conclude that conversation might be taxing to them. But the fact is there is nothing like this and they are as normal as we are or any extrovert child or person. They carry the same emotions like we do. They might hesitate to hug you but they there is no dearth of love and compassion in them.
Why does the world want to change them or turn them into Pseudo -extrovert?
They don’t need any therapy or “how to become an extrovert’’ session. Absolutely Not!
Better we accept them the way they are. Let them enjoy their shy nature and the solitude they love. And let them be confident in the way they are and not molding them as per the societal norms. Introverts are also socially adept and it’s not necessary that they carry a fear of stage or any other activities on a social level. But they have their own style of living their life and let them be the way they want to.
Of course, everyone wants their child to be outgoing and extrovert but we can’t ignore the very facts of introverts too. Let them shine in their own way and not allowing any fear to settle with them due to their different nature.