It was just like any other busy morning! Everyone in the house was struggling to finish their early morning mundane tasks before they head to their destinations. My kids (10 and 7 years of old) were getting ready for the school and time was running fast. The breakfast table was laid but untouched, and I was shouting on top of my voice to finish it. After all, they need to run for the school bus in a few minutes.
The morning madness is quite common and obvious during winters when everything is tuned to be late with the sunrise. In between, my elder one requested me to put her shoes so that she can have her breakfast without any break. A velcro shoe which needs a fraction of seconds to slip on. But I denied straightaway and showed no mercy.
I didn’t help purposely and don’t have any intentions to do this in near future. I had left this help long time back and pitching in again without any genuine reason is like making everything easy to them. I told her, “please learn how to manage your time and don’t expect me to do this at any point in time until there is some emergency.” She heard and managed. Yes, I am strict.
You might be thinking what would happen if I would have helped her with this? But I am sorry I don’t want to help them in each thing they do. They are growing and need to learn it as their own life skills. Let them miss the bus or breakfast…It’s fine for me.
So, this is one of the incidences amidst many where I don’t want to engage myself just to help them out in those chores which can be managed by them independently. Others like keeping things at a place, managing their books, Personal hygiene, picking their plates after food, self-serving and the list goes on. So, I am a little Atyachaari kind of mum who doesn’t really pamper her kids in these mundane tasks. By any chance are you feeling pity for my kids? Ha!
And the Label Goes-A Strict Mom!
In general, a word strict comes with so many negativities. I mean the moment you get that tag you are closer to Hitler. One of the cruelest people on the earth. Or People assume you as one who is always ready with her stick and can go to any extent to discipline her children. Also, you might scare few people around or the kids in your vicinity might go submissive when they see you. But is this really a fact? Or it’s a mere perception around and why the word strict Mum is not accepted wholeheartedly.
I am a strict Mum! So, does it sound that I carry a stick all the time or the anger bursts are part of my routine life or my kids live in fear?
Contrary to that, there is nothing like that! I love my kids like any other mum, I care for them like any other parent and I help them in whatever way I can. But what makes these strict parents different from others? Do they follow Army rule and a fixed timetable to follow? Does everyone in the house live a restricted life and must follow each rule you make?
No, it’s not so. Strict parenting is all about striking the right balance. Like, you can add a pinch of lazy parenting to it. It works more on self-working rather someone always available to help you out. It liberates and allows kids to take their own decisions when it comes to their holistic development and choice. Making them their own managers and not nit-picking in every task they do. The policy works more towards preparing them mentally for all the challenges they have in their life. Could be troubleshooting some random discussions, problems or exploring themselves with every move or limiting screen time. Yes, I help them giving ideas in all the possible directions and ultimately leaving it to them to decide. Failure is completely acceptable!
On the other hand, when I make sure my kids learn their own life -skills, I am always there to hear them. To support them emotionally, I am a mum with whom they can speak their heart out and they do it often. No, they don’t have fear while they discuss things openly. That must trust and love we have. I am always there in their thick and thin and can go to any extent if someone tries to harm them in a wrong manner. My heart melts the same way like any other Mum and I carry the same bag of emotions which sometimes come out without permissions.
I do care for them, but I also want them NOT TO BE dependent on me for their entire life. They should be able to manage their own fight in their lifetime and taking a proud on their self-made decisions. At times, they might go wrong but that’s alright. This is how we learn? Right? No one is perfect, and the word perfection is slightly flawed. I can say proudly that I always try to keep that one of the most transparent relationships with my kids and expects them for the same. I realized transparency is the best key one can have. There is nothing wrong in accepting and to embrace in all possible ways. The blend is best!
I do all those things which every parent like to do. To play, to cuddle, to kiss, to cuddle but my aura of strict Mum remains the same and where I don’t compromise until exceptions. And it’s not about burdening them or pressurizing at a young age, but these habits should be a part of their life and nowhere contrary to breaking the glass ceiling.
Ultimately, being strict is all about striking a balance between responsibilities and love! And I believe both are important.