Being A Woman, Social Stigma

To The Girl Who Is Not So Beautiful- I hear you!

The word beautiful is deeply etched in our lifestyle. We want everything to look best and beautiful. Isn’t it? The house, surrounding, apparel, accessories and what all. There is no dearth of the most wanted list which can never get over in your entire life!

Well, I don’t see anything wrong when people want to make things beautiful with personal or collective efforts. Apparently, it adds value. A beautiful garden, a beautiful painting and so on. But how about a beautiful girl? Do you follow some regime which can make you more beautiful? Which can also fetch you some bonus complements to boost your morale? The social media which only talks about how beautiful one can look? It’s quite common and surely not a new trend. Its been going on since generations and still holds the same power in most of the households. The only difference is now Social media which goes through many filters at a time, and mostly unnoticed.

I am a mother of two girls and I always make sure that this word beautiful should never become their priority ever in their life. It can be limited until they are appreciating it and not comparing or to put someone down. It’s scary to see how children are getting conscious about their looks. It so happened when one day I told my younger daughter to sit under the sun for a few minutes. Weather was a little cold and Vitamin -D cant be neglected. But her immediate response was quite appalling when she raised her concern that she would get tan if she does so. For that moment, my concern was from where it’s coming? I know I had never told these things to my kids and tanning is nowhere a taboo in my dictionary. Then she told her friend had told so, and she believed her.

That time I found myself more responsible to make her understand that there is nothing like being fair or dusky or even tan. I am also not fair, kind of permanent Tan.  I am happy I cleared her doubts and why playing under the sun has nothing to do with the beauty. You can, as much as and I am not rubbing you with Besan and applying a coating of sunscreen. Its quite natural and  I can’t let the layer of unwanted expectations come their way!

Then there was another Mum whose daughter was bullied due to her complexion. She was just 5 years old. Imagine how come a little girl oblivious to the facts is automatically a part of racism. Differentiating a child on the basis of complexion is one of the worst things one can do.

The only reason why being able to fight against the fake beauty standards is entirely my upbringing. My childhood was somewhat free of racism and my family had been very supportive in all these years.  It’s not that I never had those bits of advice on how to be a beautiful girl by applying fair and lovely or homemade tricks but I managed to come over everytime whenever there was an attack on my Psyche. I strongly believe that parenting plays a major role and why every parent must tell their kids that beauty has nothing to do with how you look? Everything is beautiful in their own ways and better we leave our critic mode permanently. Just like I am married to an extremely fair guy…a deadly combination in Indian society?Ha!

Not only that, our society where a girl is expected to be extremely beautiful at any cost is still considered normal. Most of the times, this seem to be the ultimate target of life. A beautiful girl, a beautiful wife, a beautiful Daughter -in- law. But how about a girl who is not so beautiful? A girl who is not fair, not tall, not slim, not so perfect as we expect her to be? But capable of all other things in her life?

I have to mention here I am one of those. I might be tall but I fail miserably to pass all other tests. I am not fair, I am not so beautiful, I am not so curvy. Well, as per the social norms all other things can subside if the girl is fair. I sensed this too close. Education, intelligence are all secondary. So, being fair means the topmost priority!

I proudly say I count it nowhere. I have something above all-Believing in yourself, giving your best, accepting the way you are, No comparisons, being Compassionate & Non-judgemental. These are the words which are important for me and for my family. We learn from our past and try to do better each day. Being a beautiful girl has nothing to be with a successful and happy person. There is no connect! Personally, I don’t admire anyone too close other than those who have made their own way and not falling into societal traps. Just like Nandita Das, who had never endorsed a fairness crème and much content with her own skin. Not to mention,  I do appreciate my own family who had never discriminated me due to my complexion and never imposed any tricks to make it better. They are the real inspirations to me and I am just stepping in their footsteps!

I believe every woman has TRUE BEAUTY within her in all the roles she plays. For over 18 years across 650 plus salons across the country, Naturals has been helping the Beautiful Indian Woman get more Beautiful.

Today Naturals Salutes the Beautiful Indian Woman.

Presenting Naturals TRUE BEAUTY… http://bit.ly/naturalsOF

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2 thoughts on “To The Girl Who Is Not So Beautiful- I hear you!

  1. These are exactly my thoughts, Ekta, when I feel deadly reverberations of racism engulfing anybody.

    When in Goa for around 4 years & wearing no sunscreen while riding my bike like a possessed woman in college, a lot of tan graced my face. That made me look at least 4-5 tones darker. And when I was all set to marry my boyfriend, a few of his relatives began taking jibes at my tanned skin.

    It’s gross that when people don’t know somebody by name & are referencing them in a conversation, instead of identifying other unique features like hair style or the dress, they resort to saying things like, “Are you talking of that dark-skinned guy?”

    Racism & body-shaming is deep rooted in our society & I have the least of hopes for the country if it will ever be liberated from this ridiculous mindset.

    I feel really terrified even when a person with wheatish complexion casually remarks, “Oh, both of you are so fair; & you’ll surely make fair babies unlike us.” This was before my daughter was born. People expressing sorrow over their complexion is even more sad.

    1. Thank you so much, Ashwini! We all know how deep is this problem and wonder ppl who think that way cannot imagine the plight of the other. They don’t even know how every single line on appearance can affect a psyche of that person. This is everywhere, and best is that we give them back or stand for ourselves. The moment you rise one time, it can automatically shun more. I hope things change and our next generation doesn’t suffer such things. I am glad you liked the post..Hugs

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